i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
