well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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