ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
