did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
