i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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