you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
