Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
