Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
