I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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