That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
