Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
