If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
