I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
