Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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