Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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