if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
