My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
