I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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