i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
