no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
