Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
nutella sex= disaster
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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