Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
