i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
