i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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