I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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