I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
