glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
