How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
