I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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