i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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