Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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