So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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