Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
