If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
