All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
