Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
