I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
