i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
