lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
