This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
