No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
