I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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