I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
