yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
