after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
