'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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