i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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