before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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