That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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