New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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